BEING ME- BEING A MEDICO!!!

I have observed that non-medicos (ya those not studying medicine, got it right my dear friend) always find a medico's life very fascinating.... whenever I talk to my non-medico friends about our life, they find it very interesting!! My mom is particularly very big fan of my medico stories. So I thought why not share some of them here....

Firstly I would I like to state a very famous sentence among medicos- "medical field is like a public toilet, people standing out are eager to get in, and people in are dying to finish and come out!!" ;p

OK, let's start from an entrance exam. My friend was sitting in the examination hall, Examiner came to take his thumb impression, (yeah Indian examination system) and can you imagine what he did?? He said “sir, but I know how to sign!!!" Imagine the scene! Examiner had no words, he just kept staring at him for about a minute and all the students who heard that also turned and started looking at him like he was an alien!

In my first year of medical life my friend was made to narrate story of movie 'tere naam' in English!! ( 'Tere Naam' is a hit bollywood movie) yes guys, this is how weird our vivas can be!!

Many of my friends find it difficult to believe that we use original human bones for study, but yes guys we do! In fact there is a funny incident associated with this... once when I was in 1st year, I was reading till late night with bones as I had exam the next day and then slept with bones scattered all around me! Now in the morning our kamwala came and he was frightened to see this scene, I was feeling like his eyes will fall out any time! He asked me that whether those all were artificial? And seeing his expressions, I had to tell him that yes, these are artificial!!!

But guys this is how our life is, we sleep with bones. We even keep all the human viscera in our hostel during 1st year. We keep brain, lung, heart, kidney, liver, spleen, bladder and ovary and testes too!!! That is how being a medico is!!!

Beginning from the second year of medical life we have to go to clinics to see patients and observe how they are treated, we have to take their history (means everything related to their disease and life style), and many humorous incidents happen there almost daily...

On one of such incident, we were posted in surgery department that time. We were examining a patient of varicocele (means dilated veins in scrotum), patient was reluctant to let us examine but he had to permit us as our senior doctor told him to. Now, as one of my female colleagues was examining his scrotum, he got erection!!! Imagine the scene there! Now it may seem funny to me and may be to you while reading about this, but guys think about the patient!! It wasn't his fault after all; it is an involuntary action yar!!!

On one other such incident, we were posted in gynaecology dept. At the end of posting period we are supposed 2 give viva exams. One of my friends went for his viva without reading a single word! (No surprise, well most of us do it the same way!) Sir asked him many questions and he couldn't answer a single one. Finally sir gave him MALA D (the contraceptive pill) & asked him to describe it. His first and last sentence was 'This medicine is used in female'!!! Ohh boy, you got to see sir's facial expressions. He replied furiously,''Get out, what do you mean by "used in female", have you heard of any male taking contraceptive pills. Do you have any male patient in a gynaecology unit ?!?@$?!!''

During one such other viva of ENT (ear, nose & throat) my friend was asked to define PHARYNX.
He knew it, but just didn't know how to put it in words to describe it...He kept staring at madam's face for a while and then replied, "Mam, pharynx n larynx ...”
M’am: "ya, what’s it?"
He: "they are used 2 speak"
M'am: "Don't dogs speak?!!"
Now my friend just kept think and thinking, dogs can bark yaar but about speaking..........., finally he was thrown out of viva. :)

You know there are humorous incident happening almost daily in our hospital wards.... in second year obviously we don't have that much of clinical knowledge at that stage, so sometimes we find patients having more knowledge than us.... Like this time, one of my friends was taking history of a patient of gall stone. He asked "What problem do you have?"
Patient: "I have a pathri (Gujarati of a stone)".
My friend: " so, now you are gonna get your kidney removed??!!!!”
The patient was mad at him, he said to one other student standing with him "Get him out of here, where has he come from? I have a stone in my gall bladder then why would I get my kidney removed??"

Patients are like this, they sometimes teach us, sometimes humiliate us but after all patients are patients!! Some of them are really cunning, in our earlier medical years sometimes we have to bribe our patients while giving final year exams 'coz if we don't do that then they will speak some other symptoms in front of examiner and we are screwed for sure!! But then with years passes we learn more ( we have to, as we know doctors are supposed to know things and not experiment on patients ) as we know we are in a profession where if we make mistakes some times we don't get a second chance ( So does patient !)

OK, guys I think this is enough for now; I can keep on writing pages and pages on this topic..... I may share some more some other time, I hope you enjoyed!!!

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